Today’s message from your angel is a message on the restoration of the family bond in an era where the internet is ubiquitous. 

What changed?

In these times, many families are tearing apart for various reasons but if you take a look back before the internet era, you realize that a family would enjoy quality family time and get bonded as values were passed down from the older generation to the young generation. Many families would sit around a bonfire catching up as dinner got ready and it gave them a chance to solve any emerging issues before they got out of hand.

Take a look at your family today and try to see the difference. How many times do you put away your devices and decide to talk to each other to find out if you are all on the same page? When did you last tell stories to your children or even read out a story for them? Do you listen to your partner or do you let them talk while you are scrolling through the internet? When did you last help your children with their assignments or do you leave them to look it up on the internet?

You never realize the harm the internet may be causing your family until your child commits suicide and you begin wondering what your fault as a parent was and questioning your upbringing skills. When was the last time you had a parent-child talk with your teenage child? Have you been ignorant and assumed that they are adults? Even with an adult body, remember they are still children who need guidance and if as a parent you are unable to give them that, the internet will.

The most unfortunate thing is that the internet has no filter, it will bring both the good and the bad and you will have nobody to blame. Even with parental control software, some of them will want to know why they are restricted to accessing the controlled sites. Your teenagers are curious by nature and if you are not there to hold their hands, somebody else will. The internet has ensured that every answer is at the swipe of a finger without limiting who needs the information and what their mission is.

The internet cannot replace everything

The libraries have been replaced with e-books, letters have been replaced with emails and communication social apps, physical schools have been replaced with virtual learning, friends have been replaced by online friends, games that would be played physically have been replaced by online games, and even walking to the shop has been replaced by delivery apps. The internet era has brought about many replacements hence you need to be careful that your child does not find a substitute to replace you.

As a parent, teach your children that online friends cannot replace their real friends and make them understand that what they see on the internet is not always real. Failure to understand this is the result of stress and discouragement when they feel they try comparing their lives with those on the internet. Your children are always watching you and your actions will send a message to them.

If they try talking to you and your attention on the device, they may take that as a message that the device is more important to you than they are. A story is told of a boy who was given an assignment in school to write about what he wanted to be in the future. Normally other children would give the expected answers such as; doctors, pilots, teachers amid other prestigious careers. The unexpected was that the boy wrote he would like to be a laptop. Explaining, he wrote that the laptop was the most loved in the family since his parents were always giving too much attention that he became jealous of it.

Imagine inviting someone out for dinner with the hope of getting to interact with them and having a great time with them. You look forward to the date, time seems to move slowly, and eventually when it reaches they show up. You will be excited, right? The conversation starts well but in less than five minutes they switch their attention to the social apps on their phone. What was your feeling at that time? I imagine you would feel so insulted and begin to wonder why they even showed up in the first place.

You would wish to have been disappointed by their absence rather than their insulting presence. If you are the short-tempered type, you may even walk out on them and your interest in them will fade away.

Your angel is offering you some tips to enable you to discover how the internet has affected your family life. You need a pen and paper to answer the following questions;

Reflect on your children’s behavior

What time per day are your children spending on your devices?

Do your children spend more time in their rooms than they used to?

Has there been a disconnect between you and your children?

Have they lost interest in their hobbies and interests?

Are there signs of internet addiction in your children?

Reflect on your habits and those of your spouse

Can you give an account of the quality time you and your spouse spend together without your devices?

Do you take your work home such that you cannot realize when your partner or children are trying to get your attention?

Do you give your younger children your devices to keep them busy and distracted so that they do not disturb you while you are handling other tasks?

As parents, when was the last time you had a family meeting to discuss the in-depth family affairs of every child and give solutions to their questions?

After answering the questions, you will have a better view of the current state of your family and determine the way forward. Make changes that need to be made before it is too late and they have outgrown you and gone far away from your reach. Finally, your angel sends to your family a warm message of love and encourages you to stick together without letting the internet divide you.